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[02 Nov 2007|10:29pm] |
Me: "It's time for bed sweetie."
Charlian: "Why?"
Me: "Because it's bedtime?"
Charlian: "But why?"
Me: "Because it's very late, and because I said so."
Charlian: "Yes daddy, but why?"
Me: "Because we are all going to sleep now."
Charlian: "But why can't "I" stay up?"
Me: "Because you are too young to be up alone at night."
Charlian: "No I'm not! You let me baby sit the twins!"
Me: "Yes, and last time, one came back blue."
Charlian: "He was only part blue! You said so!"
Me: "Yes, and mommy didn't seem to care it was only partial, did she?"
Charlian: "No... So I can't stay up at all?"
Me: "Tell you what, go into our room, and argue with your mother about this."
Charlian: "Fine, I'll get in bed."
Me: "You're scared to go argue with her, aren't you?"
Charlian: "Yes."
Me: "Yeah, so am I. And now you know why we are all go to bed when she does."
Charlian: "Oh I see. Goodnight daddy."
Me: "Goodnight sweetie."
You know, I don't fear my wife near as much as I love her. But there are times of the month, when it's damn close.
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[25 Oct 2007|11:45pm] |
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I know I don't write much down these days, I mean whom has time with four kids right? But I felt the need to share this bit of family history. Today while in the stables, Charlian, my lovely little daughter was helping me brush down one of the horses when all of a sudden we noticed a bit of arousal on his part. Now something like that is tough to hide, and sure enough I hear those little words ring out, "Daddy, what is that thingie on the horse?" I thought a moment about lying, but being a dad that doesn't want to shelter or lie to his child, I answered in truth. "Oh, that's called a penis sweetie, boys have those." Now this must have happened before, because she then, after a few moments of thought, replied quite seriously, "Oh, well last week, mommy said it was nothing." Okay, I don't take pride in this, or try to explain it, but the only thing my little brain could come up with, was to grin wide and say back to her straight faced, "Well, your mother has been spoiled." Damn my male sense of ego. I am a horrible dad, I shall burn forever...even if it is true.
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[12 Aug 2007|02:43pm] |
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May I happily introduce little Miss Morrigan Sunrunner Teri Yo'len. The newest member of the Yo'len family. Now this update comes a little late, because frankly I have no time to sit down and write these days. I suppose all that matters however is that mother and child are doing just fine. I am sure Liezen is more than happy to be out of bed now. After so many months of bed rest she was just about to claw her way through the walls to get out. As for the baby's name? Well, my wife is special. I love her dearly but her obsession with naming our children after everyone she has ever known may just get the better of her sometimes. I mean let's be honest here. When the children act up and you feel the need to yell their full name, the evil deed they are doing is normally done by the time you get it all out. I mean let us take my name, Tanith Yo'len. Simple isn't it? One little syllable for the first part, and two easy one's for the second. My mother, as kind as she was didn't see fit to toss another five or six syllables in between the main areas. Anyway I hear the little bundle crying for her feeding so I will end this. I have decided today that Liz gets a day off. She can rest and I'll handle the kids. All will be fine, so long as I have lots of rope handy, or enough candy to bribe the one's that get loose.
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[13 Mar 2007|03:54pm] |
The battle does not go well. Despite my best efforts I have been unable to keep the peace as I would have liked. Scoundrels roam the halls freely looting and damaging anything they might get their hands on. I am quite aware that in the night while I tend to other duties, they meet together in secret to plan the next days attack. The only good thing that has come out of this current conflict are new allies. It would seem my wife has come through in recruiting her sister in law to come and help defend the peace. I am not sure she knows the nature of the beasts we face. While they are small and weak in stature, they are nothing less than masters of deception. They are capable of manipulation with but a glance of their cute little faces. Their voices while sweet, mask their true devious nature. I find it hard to both care for my now fallen wife and keep the others at bay. With any luck, perhaps she can simply give me enough time to regroup and plan a new defense. Perhaps a picnic outdoors within the fields of flowers. I think that would not only give my wife something to look forward to, but set a better area for the beasts to roam in. There is little more to damage in the fields but flowers and perhaps the unlucky insect.
Should this plan fail, and should this record be found, I wish it to be known that I loved my wife with all my heart. But for now I must go, for I hear one of the animals roaring right this moment. That echo that rings down the hall is an ominous sign, the thud and crash of a broken keepsake and the final call of the beasts....."DADDY!!!"
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[08 Mar 2007|01:00am] |
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Bed rest, that's the orders from the top. I guess the question is, is my little love able to follow that advice? Or will I spend the next five months pinning her down while she raises questions about my parentage? Personally, I admit a selfish liking for this turn of events. I get to have my wife home all day long, and I get to take care of her just as I adore. I get to practice my cooking, and I'll get quite a bit of time with the kids. Now as I said, this may not go over so well with my beautiful counterpart. Already I have had more than one pillow shoot past my head at unsafe speeds. And I am not quite certain but I do believe in her sleep last night she muttered something about shoving my special eggs up a rather sensitive par of my anatomy. I admit, I'm not the best chef, but as far as I knew it's damn good eating. And that is not what one means by sunny side up. Tomorrow maybe I'll get her out in the garden. She can sit and watch the kids play, and maybe I'll fix some sort of a picnic. The fresh air will do all of us some good. Now I must be off, Charlain and the twins need put to bed. with any luck, maybe they'll just drift off. But I know better. Five months, the Gods help us all.
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[04 Dec 2006|12:51am] |
There is another child on the way. Another little baby we will bring into this world together. It wasn't that long ago that I gave up on ever really having a family of my own. And now, I have a large one. One any family man would envy. I have a loving beautiful wife, and now four beautiful kids. I only hope I can handle this load with the grace and care that the children deserve. With the events around this kingdom I do not get to spend as much time with the little ones we have as I would like. Still, maybe a new little face is just what is needed to pull us both back into family mode.
On a bit less happy note I saw the man that kissed my wife the other day. Oddly enough I find my anger fading now. After all, he wasn't successful at being with her. And while it was a kiss, what I get to do with her on my whims, is much more intimate. The rest of mankind can be jealous of the beautiful wife I have, they can look and weep. She is mine alone, and no one can take her from me. For now I think I shall turn into bed and find myself at her side. I may as well get some sleep while that is still possible. I love you Liezen, I love you for the woman, wife, and mother you are, and for what you have given to me.
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[23 Nov 2006|05:17am] |
Let me go back now that I have time to reflect, and tell you exactly what brought on this animalistic romp in our bedroom. It seems my wife has been kissed. Kissed square and fully on the lips by a pair that was not my own. Now whatever led to the kiss I will never really know. I wasn't there, I couldn't tell you if somehow she let herself be kissed, or it was really forced upon her. She was so angry afterwards yes, angry not that he had kissed her, but that he was angry for her unwillingness to break her vows. And I guess that is what really troubles me after it is all said and done. He knew she was married, but yet he kissed her with intent for more. And she doesn't have a problem with that? She doesn't have a problem that this man lured her there to fuck her, and then return home to his wife? She calls it comfort, I call it cheating. If she wasn't married, she would have allowed it? Meaning the only thing that stopped her was a few words spoken at our ceremony. Not the fact she knows it would kill me, or that she wants only me, just a promise she made on that one special day.
Now let's not get me wrong here. I love sex, I love sex with my wife, and I loved sex before I knew her. I know I am nothing like the words best lover, or the best looking guy in the realm, but damn it I can hold my own just fine. I've never had a complaint. I don't see sex as healing. I see it as the one thing I can share with her that gives her all of who I am. An intimate bond as well as just good dirty fun with the woman I love. I have to wonder, did she say "I love my husband" or something on that order? Or was it just, "Hey, I'm married so I can't?" I know this is dumb, I know I worry about bullshit that I have no right to think about, but still. I love my wife, I love her with everything I am. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her and our children. I just don't really know if I make her happy. I know she was brought up to be reserved and proper, but it comes across as pure indifference. She has never once told me she enjoyed our sex, she's never called me a good lover. She seems somewhat bored with what I offer her in the bedroom. I wish I could try new things, but I believe it would only repulse her. And despite my attempts to make her open up to me, all I can do is anger the dragon and let it take control. I sometimes get the feeling she stays with me just because she became with child. That because I managed this, I must be the one, and so she settled as much as chose me.
Now as I write this I find myself tired and worn. My hands hurt from the angered fight with wooden targets, and my heart hurts from the wound it took today. Perhaps in the morning my spirits will lift, and I'll see this all in a new light. Regardless of what tomorrow may bring, I shall cling tight to my wife tonight. No matter what may come, for tonight at least, she will be mine. I love you so much Liezen, I may not be able to kill that man that touched you. But I will damn sure try to outdo him.
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[22 Nov 2006|06:25am] |
My wife is a sexual goddess. But she needs to wake up so we can do it some more.
I don't think I'll ever see our bedroom floor quite the same way again.
So wake up and let's go, I bet we can think up a few new ways to bend that lovely body of yours.
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[07 Jul 2006|04:38am] |
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Happy, sad, day or night, life always goes on as it should. The war is nothing more than a distraction these days. I know the threat still lingers behind a friendly face, but as yet I cannot tell you whom. Charlian and the boys grow like weeds every day. I find both pride and sadness in that fact. While I love watching them grow, it puts a pain in my heart to know one day they shall leave for lives of their own. Dear father will just become someone they see on distant holidays. Still, I love them as dearly as ever. The same can be said for the lovely queen as well. While I know she longs for home as I do, she is ever the pillar of strength to this kingdom. She is my heart and my life. How many men find a woman that they adore so? a beautifully stunning woman whom loves them back equally? I know, I gush about her all the time in these logs. But lets face it I can't say this stuff to her directly. She'd most likely think I was trying to kiss up, or even get her into bed. (Which is never a bad idea.) It's like finding some glorious treasure. Your excited and gleeful every time you see it, but when it's out of your sight, you fear someone is trying their best to take it away from you. She is so very beautiful. So very wise and loving that it pains me to think of her anywhere but in my arms. I know I do not sound very Kingly when I say things like this. But before being a King, I am and always will be her husband in my heart. Now it's time to try and sleep again, I've been out of her arms far too long.
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[21 Mar 2006|01:17pm] |
Let me see now, what to write. I guess the most recent event is my torrid affair. No wait, before you go judging me harshly oh a Kingly abuse of power, let me explain. It seems that a little servant has taken a liking to me. I must admit, she is a most beautiful girl. She is sweet but playful, she was coy but forward, and Gods help me yes I was flattered. I will even go so far as to say now and then I flirted back just a little because I liked the attention. In the end, this all led to sex, hot good sex. But not with the girl I just mentioned. I can only guess that my own beautiful wife saw this flirting, because she took me to bed, and did things story book princesses just aren't supposed to do. Needless to say, today I am a happy King. And might just flirt more if it means I may get the same treatment from Liezen tonight.
Now on that little note, let me also say I love my wife to no end. I would never cheat nor even consider cheating on her. But it was nice to feel that someone else saw an interest in me. It means I may not be as old as I feel sometimes. Other than this event there isn't too much else to report. My children do well, and grow like chubby little weeds. Liz does well though I know she misses our home the way I do. we were called back all too soon, and of course for no more reason than a few more squabbling merchants. I order our bedroom to be filled with flower arrangments tonight. Some of which I am having run here from Tulum. Perhaps the smell and sight of them will remind her of home and our own garden. Above all else in this Kingdom my family will always come first. I wish to go home, and to have the life we had before. And to that end, I will end this war. If not for the greater good, than just to keep them safe.
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[18 Nov 2005|01:35am] |
War, it's never a good thing. Families are lost, tears are shed. And clearly no one ever comes out the victor. So why is it as this war rages on, I find myself almost happy to be a part of it now? It sounds appalling I suppose. But for the time being I am in my element. I still know troop movements, I know how to organize large groups and regimens, just as I used to in the older days. I am as I used to be in days long past.
Now don't get me wrong here, I am not some ghoul that longs for combat. I think it's more the sudden feeling of being useful and needed. I know Liz and the children need me, but they never really had any reason to look to me. Liz is a healer, and a wise woman and teacher. Little Charlian in a prodigy of powers I do not even pretend to comprehend. All I could hope to be was a fighter, a protector, and now I get to do what I am skilled at. I only wish I could be out there with the men I send into battle. I do not enjoy the idea of sitting on a throne while good men risk their lives under orders of mine, no matter the worthy cause. Today I had the solemn pleasure of notifying a good thirty families of the deaths of their loves ones. I was told by a sergeant they actually have people whom take on such a task, yet they were my orders that cost them their lives. The least I may do is tell their families myself of their brave sacrifice.
Now on the other hand, I also do not love the idea of risking my life when I have a beautiful wife and children waiting for me to care for them as well. I feel their loss. Liezen is busy with the running of the kingdom and I do believe I have seen her this past week all of five minutes. And the little devil is having quite the time running about the castle and doing her best to drive the help insane. I suppose the only peace I have had is when I snuck into the twins room. I had a good twenty minutes of time to hold and rock them before someone came along to drag me to another meeting. I miss my family, I miss Liezen. Tonight I shall hold her extra tight to my chest. Queen or not, she shall always be my little flower girl. No war, no castle nor fancy dress shall ever change that much. I'll think about her, as this next meeting starts, and long to be back in her arms.
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[16 Nov 2005|02:51pm] |
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King's log.......oh my God. Okay now I knew that being a King involved a bit of show and more than a little tact. But sweet Dawanya's dress. It took me two hours to get fitted for a new outfit, it took one hour just to thank everyone whom cooked breakfast for my family this morning, and it took about forty minutes just to manage to find the bedroom that Charlian is sleeping in. I feel like an ant on a mountain here. I like the people, I like the attention, and I like being in charge of thing again, but I miss my home and the peace of it. Liz looks drop dead beautiful as a Queen. They way she looks in those dresses, the love and attention the people have for her. It's rather arousing really. I better not tell her that however, I have to be Kingly after all. Charlian is now true Princess. And buddy if you thought she could be a brat before, try dealing with her now. No child she have the ability to order around adults, and I will have to speak to her about still showing respect for her elders. Other than a few minor things, most everything is going well. For the moment all is quiet, and I shall take this time to seek out my wife. It has been hours since i kissed her last, and we cannot have that can we?
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| Hello Again Old Friend |
[24 Aug 2005|02:21am] |
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It's been so long since I used this thing, I had almost forgotten I had it. Covered in dust and vanishing underneath the bed, it seems to have waited for me. Waited for a chance to once again hold the words that stir in my head. The thought and emotions I just can't seem to say when the time is right. I write in here not so much for myself, but my children, my wife. For when day when I am gone I hope them to remember the man I was. Not my failures or victories, but how hard I always tried. tried to be a father, and a husband. I love Liezen as no man has ever loved a woman. I do not simply desire or cherish her, I need her. She is my heart, my soul, and someone I could never face a day without. My day begins when I open my eyes to her face, and ends when I curl my body about hers to sleep. I live now only for her and my children, my wonderful, beautiful children. She has given me a gift that has made my life complete. Twin sons, and a little girl whom I have come to adore as any father would. There is something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands, and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. I have a family now. A family, I'll never grow tired of those words. Yet now I must go, I must curl up into my wifes arms and tell her once more I love her, though I may never say it enough to show my true feelings..
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[15 May 2005|12:31am] |
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts? You feel pain when your apart, you feel incomplete when they cannot be beside you. I am lucky enough to feel that pain, to have someone I love and care for so deeply that every breath seems to be drawn from their very existence. Liezen I love you so much, I only hope you know that. You have given me so much in this short time together. I can only dream as to what the rest of our lives may hold. Something important is coming up, I will do my best to make it memorable for her.
Stars, you are unfortunate, I pity you,
Beautiful as you are, shining in your glory,
Who guide seafaring men through stress and peril
And have no recompense from gods or mortals,
Love you do not, nor do you know what love is.
Hours that are aeons urgently conducting
Your figures in a dance through the vast heaven,
What journey have you ended in this moment,
Since lingering in the arms of my beloved
I lost all memory of you and midnight.
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[16 Apr 2005|03:55am] |
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Something happened last night, something I can't remember. I know I got out of a bed, I know, I did something. But nothing really comes back to memory beyond flashes and random scenes. I only know I woke up in the morning bleeding from my arm, my good arm. I thought maybe one of the wounds from the spar with Liz had reopened, but I do not remember being hit there. No matter, I just want to spend a quite day with my wife. I worry about her, I worry about our children. I know everything will be okay, yet still, I love them too much not to worry. But I hear her calling now, so I shall cut this one short.
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[14 Apr 2005|11:13pm] |
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I bought this silly book for the purpose of writing my thoughts down. As any married man would know, sometimes you just can't talk to your wife, no matter how wonderful she is. True be told sometimes I feel as if she never hears what I say, just that which she wishes I said. Sometimes I feel like I disappoint her. Like she should have another dragon as a mate, one that can fulfill her needs in every way. But then I look at her, I see her smile, I see our children play, and that selfishness sets in. I may not be all she wants, I may never be the man she deserves, but I love her so much, I love my family, I will never give them up so long as I draw breath. I can't, I waited so long to have this. I can't lose it. I can't be without her, I won't be. I refuse. No matter what I am to her, what I shall be, she is my life, my soul, my heart. No that I have said that, let me add, I know I make her happy, I know she loves me. I simply need to accept myself, and what it is, that has bothered me so these past months. I owe that to her, and the children.
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